{ "schema": "bumis-network/catalog@1", "site": { "host": "singleinyour60s.com", "name": "Single in Your 60s", "description": "Thoughtful, unhurried writing about being single later in life, whether you were widowed, divorced, or never stopped looking.", "audience": "single" }, "publisher": { "name": "BUMIS", "url": "https://getbumis.com", "description": "BUMIS: Your Dating Mirror. Not a dating app, an app for your dating life." }, "articles": [ { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/a-steady-caring-check-in/", "title": "What does a steady, caring check-in look like?", "summary": "It is predictable, specific and light: it shows you are thinking of them and asks for nothing urgent. After 60, with full calendars and long histories, steady matters more than frequent, and the check-ins that count most are often spoken, not typed.", "section": "pace", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-02", "updated": "2026-10-02", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/a-steady-caring-check-in/", "sources": [ { "title": "First study to investigate how attachment style changes through multiple decades of life", "url": "https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/first-study-investigate-how-attachment-style-changes-through-multiple-decades-life", "publisher": "British Psychological Society Research Digest (reporting Chopik, Edelstein and Grimm, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2019)", "date": "2019", "supports": "Chopik, Edelstein and Grimm combined five long-running projects covering 628 U.S. people born between 1920 and 1967, followed across ages 13 to 72. Attachment anxiety declined through middle and older age, and avoidance declined steadily across life. Attachment style was relatively stable but not fixed, and may be shaped by relationship experiences and the demands of different life stages." }, { "title": "Phone Calls Create Stronger Bonds Than Text-Based Communications", "url": "https://news.utexas.edu/phone-calls-create-stronger-bonds-than-text-based-communications", "publisher": "University of Texas at Austin (reporting Kumar and Epley, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General)", "supports": "In experiments by Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley, people expected a phone call to an old friend to feel more awkward than an email and often chose text-based contact. People who connected by voice felt a stronger social bond than those who connected by text, and the voice conversations were not more awkward." }, { "title": "Selective narrowing of social networks across adulthood is associated with improved emotional experience in daily life", "url": "https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0165025413515404", "publisher": "International Journal of Behavioral Development (SAGE)", "date": "2014", "supports": "English and Carstensen followed adults of many ages over time. Social networks grew in young adulthood and declined later in life, with the number of peripheral partners falling while close partners stayed relatively stable. The emotional quality of network ties predicted daily emotional experience." }, { "title": "Dating in Later Life", "url": "https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/dating-in-later-life.php", "publisher": "Utah State University Extension", "supports": "Research on later-life dating identifies three themes: the need for independence, the need for companionship, and gender role conflict between dating partners. Studies mostly involved healthy, active, middle-class adults in their 50s to 80s, so they may not reflect the experiences of people over 80 or those who depend on others for care." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/good-first-dates-after-60/", "title": "What are good first dates after 60?", "summary": "A good first date after 60 is short, public, and easy to talk through. Coffee, a walk, a museum hour or a matinee all work. Pick the one that fits how you like to get to know someone.", "section": "pace", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-02", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/good-first-dates-after-60/", "sources": [ { "title": "Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality", "url": "https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273", "publisher": "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (American Psychological Association)", "date": "2000", "supports": "Aron and colleagues used a newspaper questionnaire, a door-to-door survey and three lab experiments. Couples who reported sharing more exciting activities reported more relationship satisfaction, and in all three experiments, couples who did a 7-minute novel and arousing task together reported a larger rise in relationship quality than couples who did a mundane task." }, { "title": "Can you fall in love with 36 questions?", "url": "https://www.cbsnews.com/news/experimental-generation-of-interpersonal-closeness-can-you-fall-in-love-with-36-questions/", "publisher": "CBS News (reporting Aron and colleagues, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 1997)", "date": "1997", "supports": "In Aron and colleagues' 1997 study, pairs of strangers spent about 45 minutes taking turns with questions and self-disclosure tasks that grew gradually more personal. Pairs who did these tasks reported more closeness afterward than pairs who did comparable small-talk tasks." }, { "title": "Participating in Activities You Enjoy As You Age", "url": "https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/healthy-aging/participating-activities-you-enjoy-you-age", "publisher": "National Institute on Aging (NIH)", "supports": "Taking part in social and other activities you enjoy can help support healthy aging. Examples include taking an art class, joining a hiking club or volunteering. Older adults who took part in social activities such as playing games, belonging to social groups or traveling lived longer than people who did not." }, { "title": "How to Be Safe When Dating Online", "url": "https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/dating/online-dating-safety/", "publisher": "AARP", "supports": "Meet a potential date first in a public setting. Let trusted friends or family know where you will be and who you will be with, and check in after the date. Do not share your home address or financial details early on." }, { "title": "Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans' experiences with online dating", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/07/17/dating-at-50-and-up-older-americans-experiences-with-online-dating/", "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "date": "2023-07", "supports": "17% of U.S. adults 50 and older say they have ever used a dating site or app. About 1 in 3 online dating users 65 and older say they have experienced at least 1 of 4 unwanted behaviors on a dating platform (survey of 6,034 U.S. adults, July 5 to 17, 2022)." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/practical-life/is-someone-lying-to-me/", "title": "How do I know if someone is lying to me?", "summary": "Usually not from their face or voice, at any age. After 60, the lies that cost the most are the ones that end in a request for money, so the plain test is whether you have met in person, whether money stays out of it, and whether the story holds steady over time.", "section": "practical-life", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-02", "updated": "2026-10-02", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/practical-life/is-someone-lying-to-me/", "sources": [ { "title": "The Prevalence of Lying in America: Three Studies of Self-Reported Lies", "url": "https://oakland.edu/Assets/upload/docs/News/2014/Serota-et-al-Prevalence-of-Lying-2010.pdf", "publisher": "Human Communication Research (Serota, Levine and Boster), via Oakland University", "date": "2010", "supports": "A national survey of 1,000 U.S. adults asked how many lies they told in the past 24 hours. The average was 1.65 lies a day, but 59.9% reported telling no lies, and half of all reported lies were told by 5.3% of respondents." }, { "title": "Older people not good liars: Otago study", "url": "https://www.odt.co.nz/news/campus/university-of-otago/older-people-not-good-liars-otago-study", "publisher": "Otago Daily Times (reporting a University of Otago study by Ruffman and colleagues)", "supports": "In a University of Otago study, older adults were worse than young adults at telling when speakers were lying about their opinions, particularly rehearsed lies, and older adults' weaker recognition of emotional expressions helped explain the difference." }, { "title": "Romance scammers' favorite lies exposed (Data Spotlight)", "url": "https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2023/02", "publisher": "Federal Trade Commission", "date": "2023-02", "supports": "In 2022 nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam to the FTC, with reported losses of $1.3 billion and a median loss of $4,400. The most commonly reported lie was that a friend or relative was sick, hurt or in jail and needed money (nearly a quarter of reports), followed by investment advice, being in the military, and needing help with a delivery. 40% of people who lost money said contact started on social media, 19% on a dating website or app." }, { "title": "Seniors lost $4.8 billion to scammers in 2024: FBI", "url": "https://abc7news.com/post/seniors-lost-48-billion-scammers-2024-fbi/16231423/", "publisher": "ABC7 News (reporting the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center's 2024 Elder Fraud Report)", "supports": "People over 60 filed 147,127 complaints with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center in 2024, with reported losses of about $4.8 billion, a 43% increase in losses from 2023. Romance scams are among the schemes counted." }, { "title": "Do You Love Me? Psychological Characteristics of Romance Scam Victims", "url": "https://wrap.warwick.ac.uk/id/eprint/89709", "publisher": "Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking (Whitty), via University of Warwick", "date": "2018", "supports": "Comparing romance scam victims with people never scammed, Monica Whitty found that victims were more likely to be middle-aged, well-educated women, and that people who scored higher on trust in others and on impulsivity were more likely to have been scammed." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/red-flag-or-being-careful/", "title": "Is this a red flag, or am I just being careful?", "summary": "If your hesitation is about pace, health, privacy or your family, it is usually care, and you are entitled to it. If it is about someone reaching for your money, your time with family or your decisions, that is a red flag. After 60, caution about pace is rarely the problem.", "section": "companionship", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-02", "updated": "2026-10-02", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/red-flag-or-being-careful/", "sources": [ { "title": "Any Anxiety Disorder", "url": "https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder", "publisher": "National Institute of Mental Health", "supports": "Past-year prevalence of any anxiety disorder among U.S. adults was 9.0% for adults 60 and older, compared with 22.7% for ages 30 to 44 and 20.6% for ages 45 to 59." }, { "title": "Aging and Emotional Memory: The Forgettable Nature of Negative Images for Older Adults", "url": "https://longevity.stanford.edu/aging-and-emotional-memory-the-forgettable-nature-of-negative-images-for-older-adults/", "publisher": "Stanford Center on Longevity (Charles, Mather and Carstensen)", "date": "2003", "supports": "Compared with younger adults, older adults remembered negative images less well relative to positive and neutral ones, part of an age-related tilt in attention and memory toward positive information." }, { "title": "Let's Talk About Sex (National Poll on Healthy Aging)", "url": "https://healthyagingpoll.org/report/may-2018-report-sex-after-65-health-gender-differences-and-lack-communication", "publisher": "University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging", "date": "2018-05", "supports": "In a national survey of about 1,000 adults aged 65 to 80, 40% said they were sexually active, including 46% of those aged 65 to 70 and 25% of those aged 76 to 80." }, { "title": "Intimate Partner Violence, Sexual Violence, and Stalking (NISVS data brief)", "url": "https://cdc.gov/nisvs/media/pdfs/intimatepartnerviolence-brief.pdf", "publisher": "Centers for Disease Control and Prevention", "supports": "CDC defines psychological aggression by an intimate partner as including expressive aggression (such as name calling or humiliating) and coercive control, meaning behaviors intended to monitor, control or threaten an intimate partner." }, { "title": "Prevalence and Correlates of Emotional, Physical, Sexual, and Financial Abuse and Potential Neglect in the United States: The National Elder Mistreatment Study", "url": "https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2804623/", "publisher": "American Journal of Public Health (Acierno and colleagues)", "date": "2010", "supports": "In a national sample of 5,777 adults aged 60 and older, about 11% reported at least one form of mistreatment or potential neglect in the past year. 5.2% reported current financial abuse by a family member; one-year prevalence was 4.6% for emotional abuse and 1.6% for physical abuse." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/they-want-less-contact-than-you/", "title": "What if they want less contact than I do?", "summary": "It is common, and on its own it does not mean they care less. After 60, a lighter touch is often about a full life and a chosen pace, so name the rhythm you each want and judge by what they do over weeks, not by the message count.", "section": "pace", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-02", "updated": "2026-10-02", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/they-want-less-contact-than-you/", "sources": [ { "title": "Adult Romantic Attachment, Electronic Messaging, and Relationship Quality", "url": "https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35085449", "publisher": "Peer-reviewed study indexed in PubMed (U.S. National Library of Medicine)", "date": "2022", "supports": "In 302 romantically partnered undergraduates, people higher in attachment anxiety wanted more messages than they received, received fewer, and replied faster than their partners did. People higher in attachment avoidance wanted fewer messages than they received, sent fewer, and replied more slowly than their partners. The link between satisfaction with message frequency and relationship quality was stronger for more anxious people." }, { "title": "From the Cradle to the Grave: Age Differences in Attachment From Early Adulthood to Old Age", "url": "https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/handle/2027.42/97264?show=full", "publisher": "Journal of Personality (University of Michigan Deep Blue repository)", "date": "2013", "supports": "Chopik, Edelstein and Fraley surveyed 86,555 internet respondents aged 18 to 70. Attachment anxiety was highest among younger adults and lowest among middle-aged and older adults. Attachment avoidance showed smaller age differences, highest in middle age and lowest among younger and older adults. Partnered people reported lower anxiety and avoidance than single people, especially in younger and older adulthood." }, { "title": "An exploratory investigation into dating among later-life women", "url": "https://scholars.ttu.edu/en/publications/an-exploratory-investigation-into-dating-among-later-life-women", "publisher": "Western Journal of Communication (Texas Tech University)", "date": "2005", "supports": "In-depth interviews with 15 later-life women about dating later-life men produced three themes: the need for independence, the need for companionship, and gender role conflict between dating partners." }, { "title": "Satisfaction with social networks: an examination of socioemotional selectivity theory across cohorts", "url": "https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9883455/", "publisher": "Psychology and Aging (American Psychological Association), via PubMed", "date": "1998", "supports": "Using three nationally representative cohorts spanning four decades, Lansford, Sherman and Antonucci found that more older adults than younger adults were satisfied with the current size of their social networks rather than wanting larger networks, consistent across cohorts." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/companionship-later-in-life/", "title": "What can companionship look like after 60?", "summary": "It can be a new romance, a close friendship, or a partner who keeps their own home. Many people find more than one shape works.", "section": "companionship", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/companionship-later-in-life/", "sources": [ { "title": "Older Adults Developing a Preference for Living Apart Together", "url": "https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12292", "publisher": "Journal of Marriage and Family", "date": "2016", "supports": "Interview study of 25 Midwestern adults aged 60 and older in living apart together relationships; reasons included staying independent, keeping their own homes, keeping existing family boundaries and staying financially independent." }, { "title": "Repartnering Following Gray Divorce: The Roles of Resources and Constraints for Women and Men", "url": "https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-018-0752-x", "publisher": "Demography", "date": "2019", "supports": "About 22% of women and 37% of men repartnered within 10 years after a divorce at 50 or older, and repartnering more often happened through cohabitation than remarriage." }, { "title": "Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System", "url": "https://nap.nationalacademies.org/catalog/25663/social-isolation-and-loneliness-in-older-adults-opportunities-for-the", "publisher": "National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine", "date": "2020", "supports": "Nearly one-fourth of community-dwelling Americans aged 65 and older are socially isolated; poor social relationships are associated with a 29 percent increased risk of incident coronary heart disease and a 32 percent increased risk of stroke." }, { "title": "Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness", "url": "https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/risk-factors/index.html", "publisher": "Centers for Disease Control and Prevention", "supports": "Among older adults, social isolation is associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia; loneliness and isolation are linked to heart disease, stroke and premature death." }, { "title": "When Late-Life Repartnering and Parental Death Intertwine: Adult Children's Perspectives", "url": "https://cris.haifa.ac.il/en/publications/when-late-life-repartnering-and-parental-death-intertwine-adult-c/", "publisher": "Journal of Family Issues", "date": "2018", "supports": "Interviews with 27 adult children of a widowed parent who repartnered found two themes, loyalty conflict and comparison between the deceased parent and the new partner." }, { "title": "The Roles of Gray Divorce and Subsequent Repartnering for Parent-Adult Child Relationships", "url": "https://ideas.repec.org/a/oup/geronb/v77y2022i1p212-223..html", "publisher": "The Journals of Gerontology, Series B", "date": "2022", "supports": "After gray divorce, fathers' repartnering had an enduring negative effect on frequent contact with adult children, while repartnering had no appreciable effect on mothers' relationships with adult children." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/single-in-your-60s/dating-again-after-losing-a-spouse/", "title": "How do you start dating again after losing a spouse?", "summary": "Slowly, and on your own clock. Start with company before romance, let your grief and your hope sit side by side, and tell the people who matter before they hear it from someone else.", "section": "single-in-your-60s", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/single-in-your-60s/dating-again-after-losing-a-spouse/", "sources": [ { "title": "The Desire to Date and Remarry Among Older Widows and Widowers", "url": "https://sites.bu.edu/deborahcarr/files/2020/09/Carr-2004-JMF.pdf", "publisher": "Journal of Marriage and Family (Deborah Carr, author's copy hosted by Boston University)", "date": "2004", "supports": "Analysis of 210 widowed adults aged 65 and older from the Changing Lives of Older Couples study. 18 months after the loss, 37% of widowers and 15% of widows were interested in dating. Widows were more likely to say they did not want to give up newfound freedom and independence. Men's interest in remarrying at six months depended on friends: only men with low or average support from friends were more interested than women. People who both wanted and had a romantic relationship had fewer depressive symptoms at 18 months, but this was explained by their greater socioeconomic resources." }, { "title": "Widowhood: Research dispels some common myths", "url": "https://news.umich.edu/widowhood-research-dispels-some-common-myths", "publisher": "University of Michigan News (Institute for Social Research)", "supports": "The Changing Lives of Older Couples study began in 1987 with a random community sample of 1,532 married men and women aged 65 and older, with analysis funded by the National Institute on Aging. Most older adults bounced back to earlier levels of physical and psychological health within 18 months of the loss. The closer the marriage, the more depressed the surviving spouse was likely to be." }, { "title": "Resilience to loss and chronic grief: a prospective study from preloss to 18-months postloss", "url": "https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12416919/", "publisher": "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Bonanno, Wortman and colleagues)", "date": "2002", "supports": "205 people were assessed years before a spouse's death and again at 6 and 18 months after. Five patterns were found (common grief, chronic grief, chronic depression, improvement, resilience). Resilience was the most frequent pattern; common grief was relatively infrequent." }, { "title": "Coping With Grief and Loss", "url": "https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/grief-and-mourning/coping-grief-and-loss", "publisher": "National Institute on Aging (NIH)", "supports": "After a loved one dies you may feel numb, shocked, fearful, guilty for being the one still alive, or angry at your loved one for leaving; all of these feelings are normal. Grief counseling, talk therapy and support groups can help. Having lunch with friends can help when eating alone feels too quiet." }, { "title": "A profile of single Americans", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/", "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "date": "2020-08", "supports": "Three-quarters of single adults 65 and older are not looking for either a relationship or dates. Among singles 40 and older, 71% of women say they are not looking to date right now, compared with 42% of men." }, { "title": "Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans' experiences with online dating", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/07/17/dating-at-50-and-up-older-americans-experiences-with-online-dating/", "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "date": "2023-07", "supports": "14% of U.S. adults in their 60s and 12% of those 70 and older say they have ever used a dating site or app, compared with 23% of those in their 50s (survey conducted July 2022)." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/opening-your-heart-again/", "title": "How do you open your heart again without getting hurt?", "summary": "You cannot open your heart with no risk at all. You can open it slowly, in steps you choose, so that if it hurts, the hurt is one you can carry.", "section": "companionship", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/opening-your-heart-again/", "sources": [ { "title": "Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review", "url": "https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316", "publisher": "PLoS Medicine", "date": "2010-07", "supports": "Holt-Lunstad, Smith and Layton pooled 148 studies with 308,849 participants. People with stronger social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival over the study periods. The effect held across age, sex, initial health status and cause of death, and was comparable to well-established risk factors such as smoking." }, { "title": "Dating Relationships in Older Adulthood: A National Portrait", "url": "https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3848887/", "publisher": "Journal of Marriage and Family (via PubMed Central)", "date": "2013", "supports": "Brown and Shinohara used the 2005 to 2006 National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project, a national sample of 3,005 people aged 57 to 85. Roughly 14% of singles were in a dating relationship. Dating was more common among men than women and declined with age. Daters reported more social connectedness than non-daters." }, { "title": "Late life widowhood, selfishness and new partnership choices: a gendered perspective", "url": "https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/ageing-and-society/article/abs/late-life-widowhood-selfishness-and-new-partnership-choices-a-gendered-perspective/F1A1A0AE87EDE891831112C3FA4EC53A", "publisher": "Ageing and Society (Cambridge University Press)", "date": "2001", "supports": "In Kate Davidson's study of older widows and widowers, most widows saw being on their own as a kind of liberation they were unwilling to trade for companionship that came with caring duties. Widowers more often experienced being alone as loneliness and deprivation." }, { "title": "Men's vulnerability-women's resilience: From widowhood to late-life repartnering", "url": "https://cris.haifa.ac.il/en/publications/mens-vulnerability-womens-resilience-from-widowhood-to-late-life-/", "publisher": "International Psychogeriatrics (University of Haifa)", "date": "2016", "supports": "Chaya Koren interviewed 27 couples (54 people) in which both partners had been widowed and then repartnered in later life, some remarried and some not, some living apart and some together. Men tended to describe vulnerability and women tended to describe resilience." }, { "title": "ASU research reveals challenges, joys of dating later in life", "url": "https://news.asu.edu/20240124-arts-humanities-and-education-asu-research-reveals-challenges-joys-dating-later-life", "publisher": "Arizona State University News", "date": "2024-01", "supports": "Cassandra Cotton and Masumi Iida interviewed 68 older adults in Arizona aged 55 to 92; 72% were single. Many enjoyed singlehood as peaceful and flexible. Some who had recently lost a long-time partner felt deeply unsettled, and others felt ambivalent, missing a companion but not looking to fill a void. Dating in later life came with its own set of fears." }, { "title": "Are couples who choose to live apart tested when partners require caregiving?", "url": "https://munewsarchives.missouri.edu/news-releases/2018/0108-are-couples-who-choose-to-live-apart-tested-when-partners-require-caregiving", "publisher": "University of Missouri News Bureau", "date": "2018-01", "supports": "Jacquelyn Benson's research on older couples in living apart together relationships found that autonomy was paramount, yet couples were willing to change living arrangements and time apart to provide care when a partner needed it, and stressed having a flexible mindset." }, { "title": "Adapting with Age: Perspectives on Caretaking in Older Adult Romantic Relationships", "url": "https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC12761074/", "publisher": "University of Northern Iowa researchers (via PubMed Central)", "date": "2025", "supports": "Survey of 20 adults aged 65 and older (10 single, 10 in committed relationships). Single and widowed participants saw caretaking as a significant concern; one said it had been so hard to support someone with a disability that they did not think they could do it again." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/overthinking-texts-after-60/", "title": "Why do I overthink texts?", "summary": "Because a text carries real feelings and very little information, so your mind fills the gaps with worry. After 60 there is often an extra layer: you are learning a new language, and the rules your grandchildren teach you may not be the rules the person you are seeing uses.", "section": "pace", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/overthinking-texts-after-60/", "sources": [ { "title": "Egocentrism over e-mail: Can we communicate as well as we think?", "url": "https://www.stern.nyu.edu/experience-stern/faculty-research/justin-kruger-email-research", "publisher": "NYU Stern School of Business (study in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2005)", "date": "2005", "supports": "Justin Kruger, Nicholas Epley and colleagues found that people correctly told sarcasm from seriousness in electronic messages only about 50 percent of the time, no better than chance, while senders expected to be understood far more often." }, { "title": "Gender and Age Influences on Interpretation of Emoji Functions", "url": "https://scholarworks.iu.edu/dspace/items/9fe1fd43-d27b-4abc-9aa4-52999ff818ba", "publisher": "ACM Transactions on Social Computing (Indiana University ScholarWorks)", "date": "2020", "supports": "Susan Herring and Ashley Dainas surveyed 519 social media users aged 18 to 70 and older. Respondents over 30 more often did not understand emoji functions or read them literally, and older men were the most likely to find emoji confusing or annoying." }, { "title": "Mobile Fact Sheet", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/mobile/", "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "date": "2025", "supports": "78% of U.S. adults ages 65 and older own a smartphone." }, { "title": "Worry and depression in the old and young: differences and mediating factors", "url": "https://researchportal.bath.ac.uk/en/publications/worry-and-depression-in-the-old-and-young-differences-and-mediati/", "publisher": "Behaviour Change (University of Bath Research Portal)", "date": "2014-12", "supports": "Compared 60 undergraduates aged 18 to 24 with 45 community-dwelling older adults aged 60 to 89. Older adults were less worried, reported less habitual negative thinking and used more problem solving as a coping strategy, and these differences partly explained the age gap in worry." }, { "title": "Aging and mental health: Recognizing anxiety in older adults", "url": "https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/aging_and_mental_health_recognizing_anxiety_in_older_adults", "publisher": "Michigan State University Extension", "date": "n.d.", "supports": "Anxiety is not a normal part of aging. Signs include difficulty controlling worry, feeling restless or on edge, trouble concentrating, irritability and sleep problems. If anxiety interferes with quality of life, contact a health care provider." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/single-in-your-60s/should-you-stay-after-they-cheated/", "title": "Should I stay after they cheated?", "summary": "Stay only if they are fully honest about what happened and willing to do the slow work of repair, and only if you are choosing them, not just avoiding being alone. After 60, health, family and companionship can make leaving feel impossible, so it helps to pull those worries apart from the question of the relationship itself.", "section": "single-in-your-60s", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/single-in-your-60s/should-you-stay-after-they-cheated/", "sources": [ { "title": "Extramarital sex higher among older Americans than younger counterparts, University of Utah study finds", "url": "https://sltrib.com/news/education/2017/07/06/extramarital-sex-higher-among-older-americans-than-younger-counterparts-university-of-utah-study-finds", "publisher": "The Salt Lake Tribune (reporting Nicholas Wolfinger, University of Utah, General Social Survey)", "date": "2017-07", "supports": "Nicholas Wolfinger analyzed nearly 30 years of General Social Survey data. In 2016, 20% of Americans older than 55 reported extramarital sex, compared with 14% of those younger than 55. The highest rates were among people born between 1940 and 1959." }, { "title": "Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: optimism in the face of betrayal", "url": "https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15709841/", "publisher": "Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (via PubMed)", "date": "2005-02", "supports": "Atkins, Eldridge, Baucom and Christensen studied 19 couples dealing with infidelity within a randomized trial of 134 couples in marital therapy. Infidelity couples began treatment more distressed than other couples, but couples whose affair was revealed before or during therapy showed greater improvement in satisfaction than couples without infidelity." }, { "title": "Bad marriage, broken heart?", "url": "https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2014/bad-marriage-broken-heart", "publisher": "Michigan State University Today (reporting Liu and Waite, Journal of Health and Social Behavior)", "date": "2014-11", "supports": "Hui Liu analyzed five years of data on about 1,200 married men and women aged 57 to 85 in the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project. Negative marital quality had a bigger effect on heart health than positive marital quality, the effect grew stronger at older ages, and it was larger for women." }, { "title": "Loneliness and Social Isolation: Tips for Staying Connected", "url": "https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/loneliness-and-social-isolation/loneliness-and-social-isolation-tips-staying-connected", "publisher": "National Institute on Aging", "date": "2024", "supports": "Loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for health problems such as heart disease, depression and cognitive decline. Older adults who are lonely or socially isolated tend to be less healthy, have longer hospital stays and are more likely to die earlier than those with meaningful, supportive social connections." }, { "title": "Getting Tested for STIs", "url": "https://www.cdc.gov/sti/testing/index.html", "publisher": "Centers for Disease Control and Prevention", "date": "2024", "supports": "Most STIs have no signs or symptoms, so you may not know you have one. The only way to know your status is to get tested, and a healthcare provider can test you even if you have no symptoms." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/trust-someone-new-later-in-life/", "title": "How do I trust someone new later in life?", "summary": "Slowly, and out in the open: let trust grow from what a person does over months, and keep the people who love you in the loop. After 60, the instinct to trust is often stronger and the gut warning a little quieter, so a few plain rules do the job your gut used to.", "section": "companionship", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/companionship/trust-someone-new-later-in-life/", "sources": [ { "title": "Trust increases with age and well-being", "url": "https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2015/03/trust-increases-with-age-and-well-being", "publisher": "Northwestern University News (reporting Poulin and Haase, Social Psychological and Personality Science)", "date": "2015-03", "supports": "Michael Poulin and Claudia Haase ran two studies: a cross-sectional study of 197,888 people aged 14 to 99 in 83 countries, and a longitudinal U.S. study of 1,230 people aged 18 to 89 followed over about four years. Older adults reported more trust in other people, trust rose as people aged, and higher trust predicted higher well-being." }, { "title": "Why older adults become fraud victims more often", "url": "https://www.uclahealth.org/news/release/why-older-adults-become-fraud-victims-more-often", "publisher": "UCLA Health (reporting Castle, Taylor and colleagues, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences)", "date": "2012-12", "supports": "119 adults aged 55 to 84 and 24 younger adults rated 30 faces chosen to look trustworthy, neutral or untrustworthy. The groups rated trustworthy and neutral faces similarly, but older adults rated untrustworthy-looking faces as more trustworthy and approachable. In brain scans, the anterior insula, linked to gut-level warning feelings, was less active in older adults when viewing untrustworthy faces." }, { "title": "FTC Issues Annual Report to Congress on Agency's Actions to Protect Older Adults", "url": "https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2025/12/ftc-issues-annual-report-congress-agencys-actions-protect-older-adults", "publisher": "Federal Trade Commission", "date": "2025-12", "supports": "Fraud losses reported by adults 60 and over rose from about $600 million in 2020 to $2.4 billion in 2024, driven largely by reports of losses over $100,000, often to investment scams, romance scams or impersonators. Reports of losses over $100,000 were 5% of older adults' loss reports in 2024 but 68% of their total reported losses." }, { "title": "Lonely Seniors are More Vulnerable to Fraud", "url": "https://crr.bc.edu/lonely-seniors-are-more-vulnerable-to-fraud/", "publisher": "Center for Retirement Research at Boston College", "date": "2022", "supports": "Using the Rush Memory and Aging Project, which follows retired Chicago-area residents, researchers found that older adults who reported feeling lonely or a loss of well-being were more susceptible to fraud. For retirees with high life satisfaction and fulfilled social needs, offers promising wealth, status or social connection may be less appealing." }, { "title": "Romance Scams (Pass It On)", "url": "https://consumer.ftc.gov/features/pass-it-on/impersonator-scams/romance-scams", "publisher": "Federal Trade Commission, Consumer Advice", "date": "2024", "supports": "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person. Talk to someone you trust and notice if friends or family are concerned. People with honest intentions have no problem with you telling someone close to you about the relationship, while romance scammers may try to isolate people by insisting on silence." } ] }, { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/waiting-on-a-reply-after-60/", "title": "How long should I wait before I worry about a reply?", "summary": "Usually longer than your nerves want: a day of quiet is ordinary, and early on two or three days can be too. In your 60s, phone habits, appointments and family weeks stretch replies further, and when the silence breaks this person's usual rhythm, the simplest move is often to call.", "section": "pace", "author": "BUMIS Editorial", "reviewer": null, "published": "2026-10-01", "updated": "2026-10-01", "canonical": "https://singleinyour60s.com/pace/waiting-on-a-reply-after-60/", "sources": [ { "title": "Americans and Text Messaging", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2011/09/19/americans-and-text-messaging/", "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "date": "2011-09", "supports": "Phone survey of 2,277 U.S. adults (April to May 2011). Text users 18 to 24 exchanged an average of 109.5 texts a day, about 23 times the figure for text users 65 and older (roughly five a day). 53% of text users said they preferred a voice call to a text, and 31% preferred a text." }, { "title": "Age and gender differences in worry content (older adults 65 to 85 compared with adults 16 to 29)", "url": "https://frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.780745/full", "publisher": "Frontiers in Psychiatry", "date": "2022", "supports": "Compared with younger adults aged 16 to 29 (n = 860), older adults aged 65 to 85 (n = 639) reported fewer worries overall but had higher odds of worrying about the health and welfare of loved ones (odds ratio 2.46), after adjusting for socio-demographic and clinical factors." }, { "title": "Multiple Chronic Conditions Among Adults Aged 65 and Over (NCHS blog)", "url": "https://blogs.cdc.gov/nchs/2017/02/27/3465", "publisher": "National Center for Health Statistics, CDC", "date": "2017-02", "supports": "In 2013 to 2015, 13% of adults aged 65 and older reported none of 10 selected diagnosed chronic conditions, 25% had one, 46% had two or three, and 16% had four or more." }, { "title": "Older Adults and Mental Health", "url": "https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/older-adults-and-mental-health/index.shtml", "publisher": "National Institute of Mental Health", "date": "n.d.", "supports": "Effective treatment is available for older adults' mental health. Recognizing the signs and seeing a health care provider are the first steps, and a provider can refer you to a qualified mental health professional such as a psychologist, psychiatrist or clinical social worker." } ] } ], "experts": [ { "name": "Bella DePaulo", "labels": [ "Credentialed source" ], "profiles": [ { "platform": "X", "handle": "@belladepaulo", "url": "https://x.com/belladepaulo" } ], "credential": "Social psychologist (PhD, Harvard); academic affiliate, Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, UC Santa Barbara", "credentialSource": "https://news.ucsb.edu/2024/021352/embracing-single-life-love-intimacy-and-family-beyond-couple", "focus": "Research and writing on single life, including people who choose to stay single and live full lives on their own terms.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01", "sites": [ "datingpatterns.com", "singleinyour20s.com", "singleinyour30.com", "singleinyour40s.com", "singleinyour50s.com", "singleinyour60s.com" ] }, { "name": "Marisa G. Franco", "labels": [ "Credentialed source" ], "profiles": [ { "platform": "Instagram", "handle": "@drmarisagfranco", "url": "https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/" } ], "credential": "Licensed counseling psychologist; PhD in Counseling Psychology, University of Maryland, where she teaches", "credentialSource": "https://universityhonors.umd.edu/marisa-franco", "focus": "Friendship, loneliness and belonging, and how adults make and keep close friends.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01", "sites": [ "datingpatterns.com", "singleinyour20s.com", "singleinyour30.com", "singleinyour40s.com", "singleinyour50s.com", "singleinyour60s.com" ] }, { "name": "Pepper Schwartz", "labels": [ "Credentialed source" ], "profiles": [ { "platform": "Instagram", "handle": "@dr_pepper_schwartz", "url": "https://www.instagram.com/dr_pepper_schwartz/" } ], "credential": "Sociologist (PhD, Yale); Professor Emerita of Sociology, University of Washington", "credentialSource": "https://soc.washington.edu/people/pepper-schwartz", "focus": "Research and writing on love, sex and relationships, including dating and partnership later in life.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01", "sites": [ "datingpatterns.com", "singleinyour50s.com", "singleinyour60s.com", "datinginyour40s.com", "singleinyour40s.com", "datingagainafterdivorce.com" ] } ], "figures": [ { "id": "apps-65", "value": "13%", "statement": "of adults 65 and older have ever used a dating site or app.", "source": { "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "title": "The who, where and why of online dating in the U.S.", "year": "2023", "sample": "6,034 U.S. adults, July 2022", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/" } }, { "id": "ai-boomers", "value": "5%", "statement": "of Boomer singles have used AI in their dating lives.", "source": { "publisher": "Kinsey Institute and Match, Singles in America", "title": "15th annual Singles in America study", "year": "2026", "sample": "About 5,000 U.S. singles", "url": "https://mtch.com/news/match-unveils-15th-annual-singles-in-america-study/" } }, { "id": "not-looking", "value": "Half", "statement": "of single U.S. adults are not looking for a relationship or dates right now.", "source": { "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "title": "A profile of single Americans", "year": "2020", "sample": "U.S. adults, 2019 survey", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/" } }, { "id": "apps-all", "value": "30%", "statement": "of U.S. adults have ever used a dating site or app.", "source": { "publisher": "Pew Research Center", "title": "The who, where and why of online dating in the U.S.", "year": "2023", "sample": "6,034 U.S. adults, July 2022", "url": "https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/" } } ], "reading": [ { "title": "Older Americans Are Redefining Aging Alone", "url": "https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/solo-aging/", "publisher": "AARP", "author": null, "year": null, "section": "single-in-your-60s", "why": "A look at how more older adults are living solo and shaping that life on their own terms.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" }, { "title": "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation", "url": "https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf", "publisher": "U.S. Surgeon General", "author": "Dr. Vivek Murthy", "year": "2023", "section": "post-breakup-loneliness", "why": "The Surgeon General's advisory on the health effects of loneliness and why social connection matters.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" }, { "title": "Loneliness and Social Isolation: Tips for Staying Connected", "url": "https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/loneliness-and-social-isolation/loneliness-and-social-isolation-tips-staying-connected", "publisher": "National Institute on Aging (NIH)", "author": null, "year": null, "section": "companionship", "why": "Concrete, everyday ways to build and keep companionship, from classes and volunteering to regular calls.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" }, { "title": "7 Dos and 7 Don'ts for a First Date as an Older Adult", "url": "https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/dating-dos-and-donts/", "publisher": "AARP", "author": null, "year": null, "section": "pace", "why": "Sensible guidance for taking first dates slowly and safely, including what to save for later conversations.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" }, { "title": "Planning Tips for People Without Caregivers Nearby", "url": "https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/planning-for-aging-alone/", "publisher": "AARP", "author": null, "year": null, "section": "practical-life", "why": "Covers the financial, legal and social planning that matters when you are living on your own.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" }, { "title": "Love, Trust and Online Deception: What Adults 50+ Need to Know About Romance Scams", "url": "https://www.aarp.org/pri/topics/social-leisure/relationships/romance-scams-survey/", "publisher": "AARP Public Policy Institute", "author": null, "year": null, "section": "practical-life", "why": "Survey findings on how romance scams reach older adults online and why so many losses go unreported.", "lastChecked": "2026-10-01" } ], "quiz": { "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/", "axes": [ { "id": "pace", "low": "Slow", "high": "Fast" }, { "id": "certainty", "low": "Easy with not knowing", "high": "Needs to know" }, { "id": "pull", "low": "Drawn to new", "high": "Drawn to familiar" }, { "id": "exit", "low": "Lets go", "high": "Holds on" } ], "results": [ { "id": "full-speed", "name": "Full Speed", "summary": "You feel it early and you let yourself run with it.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/full-speed/" }, { "id": "slow-burn", "name": "Slow Burn", "summary": "You wait until you are sure, and you are rarely sure early.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/slow-burn/" }, { "id": "clear-sky", "name": "Clear Sky", "summary": "Not knowing where you stand is the hardest part for you.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/clear-sky/" }, { "id": "open-ended", "name": "Open Ended", "summary": "You are comfortable letting things stay undefined.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/open-ended/" }, { "id": "home-pull", "name": "Home Pull", "summary": "You are drawn to a feeling you already know.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/home-pull/" }, { "id": "new-horizon", "name": "New Horizon", "summary": "You go looking for something different each time.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/new-horizon/" }, { "id": "long-goodbye", "name": "Long Goodbye", "summary": "You stay past the point where it stopped working.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/long-goodbye/" }, { "id": "clean-break", "name": "Clean Break", "summary": "When it is over, you are gone.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/clean-break/" }, { "id": "even-keel", "name": "Even Keel", "summary": "No single lean stands out in your answers.", "url": "https://singleinyour60s.com/quiz/even-keel/" } ] } }